Unique Muslimah

Do I really look like an ATM machine? I always wonder to myself when these certain, specific situations come out of the blue. When out and about, the strangest men will approach me and ask for money, “Assalamu Alaykum” they will start, trying to come close, which is the point where I turn right around and walk off. Most of them insist to add, “I’m Muslim like you” they’ll call behind me, as if that will make me feel safer with them, which is quite the contrary. “Please I lost my wallet I need change, 20 dollars” they’ll ask, still trying to grab my attention, where at that point I have made it quite clear I’m not going to respond, by giving him the cold shoulder, which always works.

Honestly it really peeves me off, these men who think they can give me a lecture on how to be a good Muslim by giving them change. If they were such good Muslims they wouldn’t be talking to a Muslim woman on her own in the first place, they wouldn’t bug or harass her, they’d leave her well alone and respect her distance.

On the other hand, Muslim women do the same to Muslim men, though many Muslims are suspicious that these Bosnian women who come fresh off the boat are actually Muslim. They wear a scarf, hold a designer handbag and stand outside mosques with a baby in their arms pestering men and women for change. From afar I once saw one of these women badger a respectful Muslim man so indecently in the end he had to give her some change so he could get her off him.

It is just bizarre that we cover up to be modest, to make others aware that we are not to be approached in that kind of way, only to have them bend the rules in the most ridiculous of ways, and most of the time it is because they just want to initiate a conversation.

This brings me to a recollection where many Muslim young men will have to say “Salam Alaykum” to me while I’m out and about. What do they expect me to do? Smile, shake their hand and say “Wa Alaykum Assalam Okhty!”

Erm, no. I always put on a stern face, never even look in their direction and carry on doing whatever it is I was doing. I do however whisper “Wa alaykum al salam” once the man is out of earshot, just between me and Allah that I did answer the peace back, but thankful to Allah that the dude “peaced off”.

I do wish they would all peace off and just let me be, because last time I checked, even though I was wearing green today like the dollar, I’m just not made out of money. Last time I checked, I didn’t have a sign on my head that said “ATM” or “Naive”.

What bothers me is the Islamic principles that these men are forgetting, thinking they could put some honey in the poison, thinking they could act all Islamic and that would make me warm up to them and invite them to a cup of coffee somewhere. Get real! I must add that my ATM-RADAR is really working very well, I’ll always sense when someone will approach me for monetary reasons. No wonder having a mihrim around with you is mandatory in some situations. But sometimes the mihrim doesn’t want to be chained up like a dog, walking around with you while you do whatever it is you’re doing, so what can some sisters do but venture out on their own to get the necessary things done.

I will always remember the day I discovered men are vulnerable to rape. Prior to this enlightenment, I had believed that women were the only victims of rape and that only men were to blame. I always thought that it was only Eve who had bled enough, that she was the only victim of these heinous crimes.

It all changed a few years ago, when I was yanked out of my naive world. I had been watching an American television series and had learned that one of the young men had been raped. I was immediately confused, to say the least. How could a man get raped? I thought, bewildered. I wouldn’t know until a few episodes later. Till then, I imagined that he was caged up in a room by females who then forced him to have sex.

I was not aware that a man could rape a man. That wasn’t an option on my guessing list. I was not young, but I was naive, protected in a bubble from the cruel reality of what the world and humans have become. The young man was raped by a psychotic man.

This raised many questions and concerns. I learnt that rape between the same sex does not necessarily mean the rapist is gay, it is not a sexual act of intimacy, it is an act of dominance, revenge and vindictiveness, showing power and authority, just like in The Kite Runner. 

A few months later I was to witness a story first-hand, similar to the one on television. A family I know had adopted a young man since he was two years old. He had grown up to be a 19-year-old shop assistant. The parents had a five year old boy. The adopted boy and their real son slept in the same room. Shockingly, the adopted boy came home one night, apparently not himself, since the mother had opened the door and suspected that something was wrong. 

Before going to sleep, she stepped into the room to check on him and witnessed a horrendous sight: the 19-year-old was just about to rape her five-year-old while he slept peacefully, sick with a fever. The adopted boy ran out of the room and was never to be seen again.

Since the father is a doctor, he checked over his son and found that there were no signs of entry, no rape. His mother had stepped in just in time to save her son.

The rapist can also be a woman, raping a man. A few months ago I watched a television show where a woman, desperately wanting a baby from her ex-husband, ties him to the bed, drugs him and then carries out her wicked act.

I wish I knew what to do to help boys and girls from being sexually abused. I try to do my bit but I wish I could make a real difference and stop this all together. I wish for a better world. I dream of a better world.

I believe Eve bleeds and Adam bleeds alongside her, with paedophilia and rape targeting boys and men. Let my prayer be answered, God. Protect men and women from this fate. The human race has bled enough.