Unique Muslimah

I was at a friend’s party and this girl who was there spoke to me and we soon found out we lived near each other. That’s when she offered me a lift home in her car. Of course I jumped at the chance since public transport after 9PM was a little iffy.

As we got in the car my new friend pulled out her GPS ‘Navigator’ and turned it on, touching the screen to input my address. I sat back and relaxed; I had had a long day.

The navigator guided us through the lanes on to the highway where we sped off. That’s when I started to admire the little gadget that was placed on her windshield via a mount. Firstly, the voice was very calm and soothing, contrary to my navigator’s bossy and impatient voice.

Instead, this male voice kept reminding my new friend of the fact that she was over the speed limit, but in such a polite tone. The graphics were quite cool too, but I commented on the voice, because when you travel long hours in your car alone, you need a friendly companion, even if that is your navigator. You really don’t need a navigator that’s going to get on your nerves and test your patience.

“Really, your navigator’s voice is so much better than mine”, I complimented. She laughed, thanking me. I continued to marvel at the difference between her ‘John’ and my ‘Jane’.

Every fifteen minutes or so, I would find myself repeating a similar statement about John’s voice. “I think I have to buy this navigator” I told her, asking what brand it was. It was a Mio. Never heard of it, but would I just buy it for the dude’s mannerisms and calm way of leading you to your destination as opposed to my cranky Jane navigator?

“I’m definitely going to buy this Mio, the navigator’s voice is just so soothing and polite” I told her, wondering if they made TomTom’s sound so pleasing to the ear. It really was time to ditch cranky old Jane and replace her with a modern, funky new kid on the block. Only there are so many to choose from…which one….I thought.

She laughed. “It’s so funny,” she began to explain her giggling fit. “You seem to have really bonded with my machine”.

Well, perhaps I had. It really couldn’t be helped.

I always believed that I would marry a person based on his character and vision in life. Of course since I am an artist I would like my husband to be attractive, but that doesn’t mean he has to be gorgeous. Even ok-looking individuals can look beautiful because their wonderful personality makes them look very attractive. It’s all in the eye of the beholder.

Speaking from personal experience, a few days ago it dawned on me that some girls will marry a man based on his vital statistics. Najma, for example, will marry a man who is an Arab so that she, non-Arab, can climb up the cultural and thus societal ladder. This is what she believes. Some women will want others to treat them as royalty because they believe they have married into a superior culture. Hanna, an Egyptian, will believe no one will beat her trophy-husband-of-a-catch, a husband who is half American, half Egyptian. And she will simply die out of jealousy and rage if someone marries a better catch than hers. She wants to climb up the cultural and social ladder all by herself. No sharing here!

I’m not sure if this is prevalent in many societies, but it is quite frightening to believe that some people will go to such lengths to build an glamorous sort of exterior to their marriage. What happened to the interior? The relationship itself between husband and wife? The spiritual union? Is it just about having a trophy husband for some girls? (I only concentrate on girls this time round because I’m speaking on my experience on this issue).

Perhaps there are some girls out there who are actually thinking about the relationship, the spiritual union, and are still quite proud that their husbands are from abroad, or are half-half. I’m not criticising them.

I’m just completely flabbergasted with the girls who only think about the social appearance, the girls who get married this way to prove a point- that they have the best guy hanging on their arm and no one else should do better. The girls who show off to their friends that they’ve married a “white guy”, or a “rich guy”, or a “westerner”, or a “convert”.

These labels must add a lot of pressure to some of the girls receiving proposals. They might reject a really great guy just because he doesn’t fit with what she thinks people will be impressed with.

She will wait around for a guy who will make everyone envious towards their union, so she can smile with pleasure that people want her life and want what she’s got and what they haven’t: a trophy husband she can polish once in a while and place in a shelf with her other materialistic societal “must haves”.

So where does that leave me, I wonder. Will I ever stoop so low and marry someone for trophy purposes, so I can make others jealous, so I can show everyone how well I’ve done for myself, so I can show others that I’ve got a better catch then theirs? Or will I marry for the right reasons. The reasons that will make a happy marriage last.