Controlling the Monster Within
Contrary to popular belief, jihad is not about terrorising innocent civilians. Jihad is about fighting your own ego, your self, to discipline it, to submit it to God, which is no easy task.
From every corner, rock and stone, fitan (temptations) lunge themselves at you, whereby it is your jihad to control your ’self’ and not fall into a lowly animalistic state. And because it is Ramadan you ideally want to purify your soul, you want to feel spiritual, you want to float with the clouds; a feeling I miss terribly.
But the fitan await in every corner, disguised in many costumes to have a greater chance at leering you in. Like the billboard poster of a semi-naked model that is in your face as you go into work every morning; you have to avert your eyes, lower your gaze. Because fasting isn’t about starving oneself. It’s about disciplining oneself in all aspects of life.
The true fast is fasting with every fibre of your being from dawn to sunset. It is about fasting with your eyes, so they do not watch unlawful things. It’s about fasting with your tongue, so you do not speak evil, including backbiting and gossiping. It’s about fasting with your ears so you do not listen to evil. It’s about fasting with your hands, so you do not use them to do an evil act. It’s about fasting with your feet so you do not walk to an evil destination. You have to constantly observe yourself, to make sure you are not falling into a bad deed that may sabotage your fast- and that is the greatest struggle- the struggle from within.
That is where the jihad begins. It takes 30 days, according to popular belief, to establish a routine. If in 30 days we are able to fast a true, complete fast, with every fibre of our being, then after Ramadan we will have gotten rid of disgusting habits that always threaten to pull us towards the dirty ground, rather than partaking in deeds that could elevate us to the 7th heaven.
It’s like having a little Monster within, who wants you to do bad deeds. You have to put a leash on him, convert him into a good little Monster if you can, in order to free your self, your soul, from the oppressions of the temptations of the world.
I find that the hardest fast is fasting with your heart, freeing yourself from envy, greed, arrogance and all of the other vices is the hardest jihad of all.
jessyz
September 5, 2008 at 11:40 am
No wonder controlling one’s own little monster is called the GREATER jihad.
Insha’Allah we will all be able to control our inner monsters this Ramadhan
Solace
September 5, 2008 at 1:14 pm
So true jessyz, you are so right, I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Solace, yes! I pray so too ensha’Allah…
Unique Muslimah
September 5, 2008 at 4:50 pm
I like the way you wrote this, Unique, calling it a “monster,” and reminding us that fasting isn’t just about going without food and water for most of the day.
srtuba
September 5, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Thank you tuba
Unique Muslimah
September 5, 2008 at 10:50 pm
“You have to constantly observe yourself, to make sure you are not falling into a bad deed that may sabotage your fast- and that is the greatest struggle..”
Thank you for reminding me unique, as i think i was slipping.
outcastrebelchic
September 6, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Perusing the Wikipedia definition of jihad, I found this:
“According to scholar John Esposito, Jihad requires Muslims to “struggle in the way of God” or “to struggle to improve one’s self and/or society.”[3][4] Jihad is directed against Satan’s inducements, aspects of one’s own self, or against a visible enemy.[1][5] The four major categories of jihad that are recognized are Jihad against one’s own self (Jihad al-Nafs), Jihad of the tongue (Jihad al-lisan), Jihad of the hand (Jihad al-yad), and Jihad of the sword (Jihad as-sayf).[5] Islamic jurisprudence focuses on regulating the conditions and practice of Jihad as-sayf, the only form of warfare permissible under Islamic law, and thus the term Jihad is usually used in fiqh manuals in reference to military combat.”
The explanation you offer appears to be three of the four aspects of jihad, and therefore incomplete. With all due respect, I think the ‘jihad as – sayf’ must be taken into account as it is only natural for the human spirit to want to ‘war’ against oppression and injustice. Don’t ‘fitans’ also produce oppression and injustice? I strongly believe they do!
And isn’t jihad as-sayf intended to fight this, regardless of whether or not oppression and injustice has befallen you or me personally or others whom we may or may not know personally?
Is not jihad as – sayf intended for this? Or do we just turn our backs and “tolerate” such circumstances in the world because we are not “tempted” to be moved (by anger or disgust or some other form of reaction/response) by it?
If you do not take into account this aspect of “jihad” then ‘jihad’ is incomplete, and if it remains incomplete, then how is it we can face our fellow human being who has not achieved the same level of “jihad al – nafs or al- lisan or al – yad” for themselves? Do we just leave them behind to suffer? If so, who fights for those left behind? Are they to be left to struggle on their own? —- Helloooo! —— Is there anyone out there! I need help! —– (And don’t we all??!!)
I think the bigger picture I am pondering is this: we are all in this same ‘jihad’ boat together. What you are have described as your experience is the same as mine though I call it spiritual warfare and not jihad. Also, I think there is another problem that ‘fitans’ produce and that is deception….deception that there is an absolute truth. Are not all humans consciously (or subconsciously) seeking “absolute truth” ? I think so. Yet most seem to think that “absolute truth” has nothing to do with a “Creator” and everything to do with themselves …. self-indulgence, self-centeredness, self…self….self…memememe.
Too many people (regardless of their heritage or circumstances) are consumed with a self-centered mindset. (isn’t this the essence of what you are describing as your jihad struggle – i.e I can save myself by overcoming the temptations of this world?)
What if those same “fitans” are responsible for this mindset too? Wouldn’t you expect ‘fitans’ to work against God’s truths? I would. And who is this God you have mentioned?
Is He all knowing? Is He everywhere? Is He the creator of all truth? Is He the creator of all that is good, right and true? You have stated that ‘fitans’ are of Satan. Satan must therefore be opposite of the God whom you have also claimed exists.
Is your God not willing to help you fight the ‘fitans’ that stand between you and Him?
Is it possible that you cannot save yourself because of ‘fitans’? Is it possible that you may be born with ‘fitans’ that you can never overcome on your own? If that is possible, then surely it is possible that a God who loves you enough to create you would want to save you from the ‘fitans’ He knows you cannot overcome in your quest for salvation from them. Can He save you from those ‘fitans’ you cannot overcome yourself? Can He save you from those ‘fitans’ that stand between you and Him? If He loves you enough, wouldn’t He want to do this for you? Is that not possible? If it is possible, then He surely wants you to know that only He can overcome those ‘fitans’ for you. Surely His desire for you is to let you know He can save you from your ‘fitans’.
Perhaps this is the difference between religions? If so, then the one true saving “religion” would clearly state that you cannot save yourself and only God can save you, while the rest would provide only deception in that they would state that only you can save yourself. That would be what Satan’s deceptive ‘fitans’ would want you to believe – that only you can ’save’ yourself?
My friend, are you absolutely certain you can bring about your own salvation? Are you absolutely convinced any of us can?
br0k3NsP1r1t2
September 6, 2008 at 7:09 pm
salams Unique sis!
great post u have here! and soo very true. gorra agree with Tuba above, really like the way uve placed it as a monster!
may Allah almighty guide us and protect, and keep us safe. Allahuma Ameen!
=]]
[[[ x Smiley x ]]]
September 6, 2008 at 10:09 pm
This was an amazing post.
It is the exact reason why Muslims fast and the perfect answer to anyone who questions why we do so!
I really enjoyed reading it
Muslim Girl
September 7, 2008 at 4:02 am
Correction to my previous entry ….I think ‘fitans’ produce deception that there is NOT absolute truth.
br0k3NsP1r1t2
September 7, 2008 at 4:41 am
You are welcome outcast! It was a reminder to myself too, may Allah strengthen us ensha’Allah!
Brokenspirit, thank you for the wikipedia definition…it is Ramadan and one is required to achieve a spiritual level, which is why I focused on those aspects. Thank you for your thoughts, however.
Thank you Smiley, great to hear from you again! Ameen!
Thank you Muslim Girl
It’s really nice to hear from you.
Thanks for the correction Bokenspirit!
Unique Muslimah
September 7, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Salaam sister,
It’s been a while since I visited your wonderful blog. I just wanted to wish you a beautiful Ramadan, insha’Allah. May Allah increase us all in Patience, Wisdom, and Compassion.
You raise a very important point about how Ramadan is not just about abstaining food, but more about improving and bettering one’s self. This is the month for Reflection and to remember where we are going in life.
Hope all is well, insha’Allah. Salaam
brokenmystic
September 7, 2008 at 7:56 pm
What a great post, and a help to a beginning faster such as myself!
faithfulwonder
September 10, 2008 at 3:54 am