Unique Muslimah

Dear Aka1030, writer of the blog Half a Cup of Chai,

This is in response to your post titled, Letter to Unique Muslimah (Open for all to read), which was in response to my previous post The Man Behind the Iron Mask.

I am truly touched by your sentiments and most of all your words. After I read your letter, I needed to leave the room and have a good cry. My legs and arms are quite numb as I write this, because I am overwhelmed that you took the time to write me a letter that reached out to me and gave me the sense that I am not alone in my pain. It was quite miraculous that I found your letter out of the blue, since I wasn’t planning to check my comments today. But I did. I believe this was Divine Intervention and for a very good reason.

I cry for what you experienced, not out of pity or sympathy, for I did not write my previous post for those reasons either. I’m sure you know why I cry. I cry that you had to carry this burden with you all these years. I cry that the man who carried out his evil actions is out there at large and unpunished. I want to take you (and myself) in my arms and hold you there and tell you it will all be okay. He won’t hurt you again. Nobody will. We won’t let anyone hurt us again, because this time we know what to do. As children we did not have any resources, but as adults we can run, scream and shout. Even if it doesn’t bring us justice, like with what happened in my story, at least it creates a safe distance from the perpetrator and ourselves. He can’t harm us anymore. He is out of our lives for good.

And it had nothing to do with us. It didn’t happen to us because we are bad people that deserved to be punished, no. It didn’t happen because God was angry with us either. It happened because these men were tested with their authority and leadership; would they misuse it or be the pious Muslims they showed everyone they were? They failed their tests and I believe with all my heart, soul and mind that they will be punished severely for what they did.

But it’s not just about what they did. It’s about the lies afterwards. It’s about standing in public and announcing that he did nothing of the sort and that the female is the crazy one making up stories and that he has witnesses to prove his case. False witnesses. To stand there and say lie after lie and preach that God is his witness almost drove me crazy. But no one knew of my pain. Maybe because no one cared, or because no one likes to be around someone who has just gone through a depressing ordeal, or because I was good at acting that I was fine, even if I did have purple-eye-bags from crying non-stop.

This is not part of Islam. These men who pretend to be good Samaritans are using a “holy mask” to get away with murder. They are sick and need psychological help. We will never leave our beloved religion because these creatures twist the religion for their own benefit. We know better; we know that we must fight against this. We need to speak out if it has happened to us, to create more awareness, to help those who have suffered and to prevent it happening to someone else in the future. People must speak against these people and not stand with them by keeping silent. If not for their sake, then for the sake of their future children.

What I really want to say is thank you. Thank you for speaking out; thank you for reaching out to me. Thank you for not holding it in any longer, thank you for reaching out to others who have gone through a similar experience as ours. Thank you for making this world a little brighter, knowing that there are strong, brave, intelligent individuals like you. Thank you for creating a special bond with me that I will cherish forever. Nothing I write can make up for how you have made me feel. I feel a little stronger knowing that you’re with me on this journey. I hope you also feel that way too.

And though we received little justice from humans, what keeps me patient is that we will receive justice through God. Humans might have failed us, but God never will. We will be okay. In Him we put our trust.

I love you for the sake of Allah; Yours in faith, Unique Muslimah.