Unique Muslimah

It has become an epidemic. And it’s contagious. Although many people use facebook to genuinely stay in touch with friends, there are others who are using facebook as a place where they can increase their ego. And those are the people I’m focusing on. Facebook has become an important psychological tool in people’s daily lives. And it is a perfect tool to show off your “ideal” life. And people who aren’t really into the whole showing off thing have to watch these people throw their lives in their faces- literally. Probably why it’s called facebook.

You’ve got to applaud the people who thought this up though. It’s a place where you can show off to the world. I have seen several profiles that scream out “I have the perfect life”. It’s all about popularity- how many friends do you have? Do they love you? How many gifts are you receiving per week from them? How busy is your facebook page? The busier means the better life you have- apparently. But do they actually know a quarter of the people on their friend list? Like really know them? Do they even keep in touch, or is this friend list just a wall of fame to prove how social you are? And we all know that society dictates that successful people are the social ones. If you’re a loner, “then you’re a loser.”

Then there are the photos. They should have called it vanity book. People post up their best photo- it may not even look like how they are in real life- on their profile. Everyone wants a celebrity head-shot- their chance of fame. And the photo albums show off their happy lives- smiling for the camera. Many people use their wedding photos, to show off that they are loved, happy and married. And on their marital status, they can state who they are married to, with a link to their partner’s profile, who has a gorgeous face. What a life!

Then there are the applications. A place where you can show off all the cities you’ve visited- to show how well-traveled you are. A feature that gives you the perfect opportunity to describe your lovely friend as an amazing person- thus increasing their ego and popularity; and creating an air of celebrity fame for that person. There’s a program that let’s you add your best friends so that their popularity level increases. A wall where people on your friend list can stop by and write to you. My; what a social, busy bee! This is like 18th century Europe without the Internet; people were rated on how many people they knew and who invited them to grand parties. Adding a friend on facebook is like entering a whole new world of parties.

But I wonder, if their life is so ideal, so perfect as they try to show on facebook, then what are they doing on the Internet? The people I know who have great lives are too busy for facebook. They have a mobile phone and a house where friends can stop by.

It seems that these people who are boasting their fantastic lives- while your life needs to be improved and not by simple DIY- are spending a considerable amount of time on the Internet. They’re not really living their supposedly fantastic lives, are they?

They’re sitting on a cosy chair in front of a screen writing about it. They are detaching themselves away from real life and drawing an ideal picture on the Internet of how they would like their life to look to others. Avoidance problems, perhaps? There is no doubt that the ’self’ is as important as it first was back in the 18th century.

It’s a shame really. All that time and effort consumed into convincing people you have a good life; that you deserve this minute of fame. It could have been spent differently. It could have been spent actually living your life; the life you so desperately need.

Have you ever felt stuck in a rut? Like everyone else is moving on with their lives, except you’re moving slower- snail like. I’ve heard single girls complain that they feel stuck while everyone is getting married. And I’ve heard married couples complain they are stuck while single people are out enjoying their freedom. I’ve seen people on facebook advertise their ideal, perfect lives to prove to everyone that they are happy, that they are living the ideal life we are all trying to reach. But behind those picture-smiles are tears and insecurities, people who live to show off to others that they aren’t stuck, when in fact they are.

What is moving on with life then? It can’t be a set of societal guidelines we’ve drawn for ourselves, like getting your BA, getting a job, getting your drivers license, getting married, having kids. It can’t be because even when you “achieve” these things, you still feel that you’re stuck. People may be convinced with your charade, that you’re happy and everyone would die to have your life. But these are materialistic goals that may not necessarily get you that peace of mind everyone is looking for, searching for.

There are people out there who live to show off to put you down, to make you feel that you’re stuck, that you’re not moving, while they are. But it could so easily be that they are the ones who feel stuck and intimidated by your life, to the point where they have to put on a show to convince you how good their life is.

How do you then achieve peace of mind, that I’m not stuck feeling. How do you over come fear and obstacles from your life and go ahead and do what you’ve always wanted to do, be it sky-diving or talking to a stranger on the train. What if we only have a few moments left to live and we go down in history as never having achieved anything we really wanted. Because we were too busy trying to achieve the things people expect from us. We were too busy living for others.

What about living for me? Living for a higher-power. Being content with yourself. Being content with today, yesterday, tomorrow. Not feeling stuck, not letting other people make you feel that way. You never know, you may be better than them by miles, while it is them that are way behind. You may be spiritually higher than them while they boast how good their material life is. Nothing is as it seems. Life isn’t perfect, these show offs aren’t perfect. Live for God and yourself and let go. Let go of the shovel and stop digging that rut.

And don’t let anyone else dig it for you.