Life & Death, Side By Side
I stood in the doorway, watching the white ribbon made of cotton dance silently in the wind. My grandmother had tied it to the gate, as a reminder to us of where she lay to rest. Dust covered the graveyard’s walls, its tiles on the floor. Beetles scurried about, their body hard and dry, like the sand that protected those buried under it. I whispered silently the prayers we say when seeing a grave and looked around the small room with four walls. I wondered if Egypt would be the place I would be buried. And who out of us will be next.
A typical graveyard- cactus plants are said to purify the sins of the dead
Ramadan is a time to reflect. And what to reflect on than our inevitable destiny; that plot of earth waiting for us. Visiting the graveyards really does make one humble. It puts perspective on things in life we often exaggerate. Visiting the graveyard reminds you of your fate; that you are not immortal; you’re not a god; spend your life wisely before your time is up. The king will be buried and so will the beggar.
Egyptian graveyards are quite different to ones in Western countries. Many graveyards lay right next to busy highways, the tombs exposed to traffic and passers-by. Once a upon a time these graveyards were in the middle of the desert, but since then Cairo has been developing and expanding, highways are placed over and between.
In Western countries, graveyards are often parks with greenery, open for people to wander around with their dogs or sit around on the benches. There will always be a grave-stone on a graveyard, with the person’s name, date of birth and date of death, along with a message of love from the family, engraved on the tomb.
In Egypt it’s different. More than often a family buys a plot of land that is as big as a room. It has four walls and a door that is often locked to keep druggies from using the place. Muslims are buried in a white shroud- no coffins here. Often the graveyard consists of a room underground, where a person opens a metal door, goes down a few steps and enters, finding slots in each row where a person from the family will be buried. The men are buried on one side together and the women are buried on the opposite side together.
A whole family is buried here from many generations; I thought only the sand part is where they are buried, but if you look closely on the tiled floor, people are buried underneath here too. On the right yellow wall the words ‘men’s section’ is written, and on the left side it’s written ‘women’s section’.
People often talk about buying a family graveyard for themselves in such a cool manner, like it is a normal every-day transaction they make. Graveyards can be very plain here, no tombs for example. You won’t know where the member of the family lays unless someone who witnessed the burial tells you. Other graveyards have tombs on top of each buried person, some with a mention of who lays in the tomb. It all differs depending on the people who bought their plot of land.
I read that a few rich people have tiled their graveyard with marble; decorated its walls; placed plants everywhere and lighting. Many poor people live in graveyards, because as I said, they are rooms with walls and a door. It just shows you the polarisation in Egypt; some extremely rich enough to lavishly decorate their room, others so poor they have to live with dead people.
At least they have dead-quiet neighbours, some say.
Asalamu’Alaikum,
Graves exposed to highways, traffic, pedestrians is quite a contrast to the quiet green graveyards here. Makes me realize though that even after death, the noise of this world is not going to leave you, it’s records will travel with you even into your grave. It’s like the highways and traffic are metaphors for the worldly events one’s soul experiences.
Homayra
September 27, 2007 at 5:29 am
Homayra, you’re always so insightful masha’Allah, I always enjoy reading your deep words, barak Allah feeki sweetheart. I always find it so ironic you know? Grave yard right there next to a car passing by. I’ll try to take a photo next time, today I was speeding past so there was no chance. In some ways I thought, oh well, they are lucky, those tombs literally next to the pavement, maybe more people will make duaa for them because they are visible to the world. It’s very common here to read surat al fatihah when you pass the graveyard or when you mention a dead person. Some people believe this is a bidah, but the practice still occurs. Others say surah fatiha is a duaa in itself, so why would it be a bidah. Allahu a’lim, it’s a common sight to see raised hands in duaa next to a graveyard, with people reciting surah al fatihah.
Unique Muslimah
September 27, 2007 at 5:34 am
The last home..
In Iran there is not family grave really.. All people sleep side by side.. Rich or Poor.. Beautiful or Ugly.. Good or Bad.. From every trip or family.. With any big or little title.. With all secrets they had in their heart..
Their body sleeps forever there.. And their secrets, their names, their worries, their happiness and sadness.. All sleeps there..
When i go graveyard, i feel really peace and comfort.. It is the end of all efforts in this world.. The remain is a free soul who has to answer for his acts in hereafter..
Every single moment those deads lost when they where alive, never come back to them..
All efforts for money, outer beauty, mortal passions, sinful joys, earthy worries for family, title, ambitions, hopes and wishes come and sleep there..
When i come back from graveyard, i think all of those lessens will be with me forever..
Yet just after going out of the gate, sounds of highways, traffic and people call me to live again..
Shahrzad
September 27, 2007 at 11:31 am
every tribe*
Shahrzad
September 27, 2007 at 11:32 am
you won’t believe what I’m about to tell you but it’s easy to check since the graveyard is in Al Imam which is as you said right in the middle of Cairo nowadays…anyway I work as a physician in a clinic somehow near the citadel and one day I find my manager asking me to replace a colleague at a clinic called Al Imam and she crudely described the way which kind of gave me a clue to how close it is to graveyards but I was actually stunned when I arrived to find that the clinic is actually a graveyard itself!!! later I was told that Tawfik Nessim Pasha Egypt’s priminister at the late 1920s built this place for him and his family to be burried in and also as a kind of a charity work he allowed it to be a clinic, so in between the gravestones of the many dead memebers of the family there are the crying babies, busy nurses, and actually stored office supplies in the “Dareeh” itself!
I was also told that I my examination room and more specifically my desk stands where the priministers dog once laid.
Placebo
September 27, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Shahrazad, your comment was so poetic, I loved it
I will look forward to reading on your blog more on this subject, maybe with some photos too 
Placebo, that’s really scary…….life and death really is side by side there!
Unique Muslimah
September 27, 2007 at 5:47 pm
I know in our family we have our own “graveyard” – its tended to by the family and usually the men and women are buried next to one another. I think my grandmother (may Allah grant her Jannah. ameen) is buried next to my grandfather (may Allah grant him Jannah. ameen)
Sumera
September 27, 2007 at 5:55 pm
Sumera, is this in Pakistan? It’s sweet that husband and wife are buried together, I know that this is also done in Egypt.
The graveyard keeper often has the keys to open the gate of the family graveyard…he lives in one of the grave-rooms himself in the area, looking after a block of graves…
I just learnt that new bodies are not allowed to be buried in these graveyards anymore in this part of Cairo- since they want to demolish all the graves and build highways over it and buildings. They will give families the chance to remove the remainders of the dead and bury them elsewhere. WHAT A JOB!
Unique Muslimah
September 27, 2007 at 5:59 pm
wow that is amazing , like wow I did not know such things have happen in egypt , I heard the poverty in egypt is bad to the point people live in graveyards , but I thought that was just some here say but now you have confirmed it , that is subanalllah , people actualy buy a room , I mean they make a room ?! to be buried in subanallah . I could not see were it said female / male
amal
September 27, 2007 at 10:58 pm
Amal, people here live below the poverty line in some areas, though they are hidden from society…
People who can afford it buy a room, others a plot of land. The male and female writing was on the wall but it didn’t come up on the camera since I was far away, I’m not supposed to step over the graves:)
Glad to be showing you a different side to Egypt…the more spiritual side where everyone knows where he or she will go one day.
Unique Muslimah
September 27, 2007 at 11:24 pm
Yeah its in Pak, Unique.
Highways in place of graveyards? Oh dear
Sumera
September 28, 2007 at 4:31 pm
Its amazing that years ago this place was actually outside cairo, in the desert, which is why its filled with graveyards, but now it’s actually the middle of town, connecting districts to each other through highways, so they want to move the graveyards elsewhere
Unique Muslimah
September 28, 2007 at 4:41 pm
Subhanallah the contrast of this temporary world and our ultimate end seem to be oh so evident in your post.
Unfortunately we are so attached to this dunya we have forgotten about the only guarantee of this life. And it is even more sad when this is evident in Ramdhaan in not only other people’s actions but also our own. We should always look towards ourselves before others.
Will we be here to see another Ramadhaan with all the blessings and mercy this month contains? AllahuAlim. Imagine you are not…what would you do then?
I recently experienced my first close family death and every day I remember the image of the dead body lying in it’s coffin infront of me…motionless, asleep, lifeless. Subhanallah it was a reminder for me and I hope it remains to be so.
It is nice to see such simple graveyards, dare I say, it looks so peaceful. I also think that it is a good thing that the graves are not individually labelled, as happens here, because the main point of visiting a graveyard is simply to remember death and our ultimate end and not dwell too much on just one individual as is what often happens.
Smee
September 28, 2007 at 10:35 pm
Smee, it’s lovely to hear from you again:) Some graves here are so simple really, you don’t even know who is buried there. Other graves can be very lavishly decorated, it all reflects on the person and who they were when they were alive.
I always find it quite sad, the way graves are right next to speeding cars passing by without a look or thought of death that is besides them. It’s like the dead are forgotten…life continues, it just goes on…
May Allah grant your relative Paradise insha’Allah sis..
Unique Muslimah
September 29, 2007 at 4:07 am
[...] Egypt is the most populous country in the Arab world. Movies sometimes comment humorously, or not so humorously, about the fact that Cairo has become so populated that some Egyptians have resorted to living in graveyards. Check out this thoughtful post on graveyards in Egypt and how they have changed. [...]
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