I Am Not Oppressed
To whom it may concern; You may see me as oppressed by my religion. But with my hand on my heart, sincerely and honestly, this is just not true. My religion Islam liberated me and other women more than 1400 years ago. Before Islam came, young girls were buried by their fathers because it was considered a disgrace to give birth to a daughter. Women were sold as property. Promiscuity was allowed; men had many mistresses and wives. Husbands even encouraged their wives to sleep with certain strong, handsome men so that she may get pregnant with a son who would have the same characteristics. Women were looked upon as sexual objects. In Arabia, women would wear scarves tied behind their necks, so that their beautiful necks and bosoms would show.
When Islam came, it protected and liberated me. It told me to place my hijab over my neck and bosoms so that I may be known as a modest woman, that way no one could harass or look at me as a sexual object. When I walk by, no one looks at my bottom or bosoms because I have covered them. I feel great that I am not regarded as a piece of meat!
When Islam came, I was no longer subjected to being buried in the earth whilst alive, the last face my eyes would see were my father as the sand he dug over my head suffocated me into an eternal sleep. When Islam came, I could walk around freely without fearing being attacked or abused in any way, because I knew men would lower their gaze and respect me to go about my own business, whether it be working, buying items in the market or travelling long distances to other villages.
When Islam came, I had the right to vote and to discuss political and social matters. I was allowed to join the army and fight alongside the men to protect ourselves from attackers. I was no longer to be forced into arranged marriages. I could inherit money, although my brothers would take a larger share, but I know it is because they are the providers of a household and would need more money than me. When Islam came, I was allowed to work and keep the money for myself. My husband is not allowed to take my personal savings. I can spend the money as I wish.
Most importantly, when Islam came, I was considered an equal to man. Men do not have a greater advantage than women to go to heaven. We are both given the same opportunities. There is no gender favouritism.
When I get married, I can write conditions in my marriage contract. If I don’t want my husband to marry another wife, I have the right to state this and have it fulfilled. My husband cannot get married again without my permission. I can ask for a divorce if he goes against my wishes. Neither is my husband or any male member of my family allowed to beat me or treat me harshly. The Prophet taught men to have excellent manners with their wives. God told us to be forgiving, so even if someone had committed a sin, if they had truly repented, then in the Qur’an God says to let them be.
I’m also allowed to ask for divorce, even if the reason is simply because I don’t love the man.
When Islam came, I could start to read and write. Seeking knowledge is so important in our religion. Not just that, but teaching the knowledge we gain is equally as important. Education is stressed for both women and men.
What I also love the most is the manners that come with our religion. Manners is the core of Islam. To be kind, polite, courteous, helpful, are all characteristics we should have. When Islam came, neighbours forgave each other, relatives restored their broken ties, husbands and wives had beautiful relationships with each other, children were kind to their parents. People were kind to not only other people and animals, but to the environment around them.
This is what Islam has given me. To be a good human being. To look after the people of the earth and to look after the earth itself. No matter what religion you are from. There is no hatred between tribes, religions nor sects. We are required to live together peacefully with the common thing we share: we are all human.
When you hear that I am oppressed, when you hear of stories that I am beaten, illiterate, humiliated, this is not from my religion. It is from the culture and old ways of men and women who can’t let go and join the liberation of religion.
I know that Muslim women and men who read this will also tell you many more beautiful blessings that I have not included.
When you say that I need feminists to free me from this religion, Islam has already freed me long ago. But it is the chains of patriarchy and culture that ruins our lives. If we return to the true teachings of Islam, of how women lived peacefully and successfully in the times of the Prophet and his followers, you will see that Islam is innocent of all that it is associated with in recent times.
I am not oppressed.
I don’t need to be freed from my own religion by you.
Indeed culture and patriarchy are the enemies.
Islam freed me long ago.
Bravo, continue
Strat up Tunisie
August 3, 2007 at 2:13 pm
It is true that Islam gives back all woman’s rights to her. But what you said about before Islam were happened just in Arabia and not Egypt, Pakistan, Persia, Spain, Yemen, India and other countries which had big population of muslims. In some of them before Islam, a woman could be even King of a country. Although Islam removed so many wrong cultures such as system of casts, Nationalism, wealthy scholars, slavery, Docmatism and etc, The countries themselves had great civilisation and history also before Islam (spc Ancient Egypt and Persia and Inida) and they had their good influences on Islamic Art and culture.
Shahrzad
August 3, 2007 at 4:04 pm
I loved that book you introduced in your blog. Meena was very brave. I like this kind of people, Brave people who think loadly. Even if i have too much criticism against theory of Fiminism!
Shahrzad
August 3, 2007 at 4:14 pm
Islam may have liberated women, Muslim countries sadly haven’t.
Sumera
August 3, 2007 at 4:48 pm
i will get back with more later insha’Allah. as for now, i remember reading a hadith that went’ women who divorce their husbands for no reason are cursed’. am not sure of the source…
youngMuslimah
August 3, 2007 at 6:02 pm
Well that would depend on what a woman considers a “reason” for wanting divorce. Besides, for e.g. in the context of taking another wife, if he was made aware of that condition from the outset and goes ahead regardless that, Islamically, is seen as breaking a covenant/promise. Now to say that polygamy is his “right” and so therefore one can’t “deprive” him of it is another topic and another issue, but its a choice, he isnt compelled to do it, nor is she compelled to be in such a marriage
In Islam, the nikah is a contract between two people for the purpose of marriage, so its treated as any other contract where individuals can place conditions etc.
(sorry for the essays Unique!)
Sumera
August 3, 2007 at 6:46 pm
Excellent post!! I’ve forwarded it to everyone I know.
Abdul K. Kargbo
August 3, 2007 at 7:47 pm
He should satisfy first wife to take other wife. And then depend on what a woman considers a “reason” for wanting divorce. I agree with Sumera!
Shahrzad
August 3, 2007 at 8:00 pm
So, so true.
They say we are silenced, but when we speak they are deaf to our voices.
safiya
August 3, 2007 at 8:01 pm
Strat Up, thank you and welcome to my blog!
Shahrazad, you’re right, some of them were queens but if you look closely at the history, they too were controlled and punished by the patriarchal system. Islam gave me the door to know God and worship Him
Sumera, true!
youngMuslimah you’ll have to give us the source before I consider such a statement. I remember clearly the hadith of a woman who did not love her husband and told the Prophet this, so he told her she could divorce him.
Sumera, very interesting to read your lovely essays my dear
Very helpful towards this discussion too.
Abdul, thank you and welcome to my blog
Keep visiting insha’Allah
Safiyah, true!
Unique Muslimah
August 3, 2007 at 8:18 pm
[...] Read the full post here. [...]
Islam, as Seen from a Muslim Woman’s Point of View. « T’ings ‘n Times
August 3, 2007 at 8:24 pm
I agree that women were controlled and punished by the patriarchal system. Before Islam just high caste women could take knowledge. Islam removed system of Castes.But the way of them was much much better than: Young girls were buried by their fathers because it was considered a disgrace to give birth to a daughter.
It is amazing Islam that came to most ignorant people and made them behaved.
Before Islam came, people worshiped too many little Gods. But Islam gave me the door to know ONE God and worship Him
Thank you for your words..
Shahrzad
August 3, 2007 at 10:07 pm
The hadith that YM is referring to and yourself Unique is the one where a woman went to the Prophet (s) and stated she wished to divorce her husband because she didnt love him and she couldn’t respect him (for various reasons).And that was took to be a valid enough reason in that case
Sumera
August 3, 2007 at 10:57 pm
Not meaning to throw a spanner in the works but this –
– isn’t necessarily true since she probably wouldnt be travelling on her own anyway!
I usually do travel on my own but thats a diff issue for another day
Sumera
August 3, 2007 at 11:07 pm
“Indeed culture and patriarchy are the enemies.”
That says it all. The danger is when people portray cultural actions as being religiously based. This happens way too often, and inevitably leads to the stereotype that many hold of Muslim women as ‘oppressed’.
Cairogal
August 3, 2007 at 11:41 pm
WELL SAID SIS!!!
I noticed the difference between culture and Islam very early on after embracing Islam. I am glad and PROUD to say that Islam, our beautiful religion, wasn’t just an enlightenment for Arabia, but for all the world which was still in the dark ages regarding slavery, women liberties, and justice. So for all of those who like to rant about how awful Islam is they really need to do their homework because they will only look like idiots in front of all those who have studied not just Islam but its History. Our way of life has been documented and engraved in stone for all to see. My way of life is well-rounded and balanced in all aspects of life. If you choose you want to accept it or reject it that’s your choice because one of the beauties of Islam is that there is no compulsion in it.
Sis Unique I really liked how you addressed Arabia’s society before Islam, I think this is something that many still don’t know and understand unfortunatly. U Go Girl!!!!! Hugs
carimuslima
August 3, 2007 at 11:49 pm
Khadija
August 4, 2007 at 1:34 am
ok, I read the complete post now. it’s great masha’Allah:)
how exactly can we break those chains of culture? Allah ta’ala has given the young generation tawfeeq and we are alhamdulillah retreating to the REAL islam, but what about the old generation?
Re the hadith, I cant seem to find the source. BUT , if you dont love your husband, that is valid enough a reason for talaq.
When i went to a class at my islamic center, the teacher there said you can divorce your husband even if you dislike his face. There was an incident when a woman walked upto the Prophet sal Allahu al’aihee wasalaam and said : my husband is all righteous, pious, he treats me well, but when he comes near me..I dont want to look into his face’. She was given the go ahead to divorce him. You have to be physically attracted to your spouse. If something takes your emaan down, stay away from it- that was the lesson of the day.:)
youngmuslimah
August 4, 2007 at 12:11 pm
SubhanAllah, this is an excellent post! I think i’m going to have to print it out and show all of my colleagues at work. The majority of my co-workers are older men (i think the youngest person i work alongside is 42!!). Alhamdulillah, they are very good, and understanding of my needs in terms of how i dress, the fact that I have to pray etc etc. When I first started there though, I was horrified to learn that most of their concepts of islam were completely wrong! Through the media, and other means, they beleived that Islam was backward especially in women’s issues, but I soon put them straight! They were shocked that here before them, stood a hijabi/jilbabi woman who was working in a “mans” industry (aviation). But I find myself constantly reminding them that there is a BIG difference between culture and religion, and they are separate entities.
Anyhoo, you have put all of these issues in one piece of writing far more articulately than I could have ever expressed them, so it is definitely a case of sharing this with my colleagues!
And, MashAllah, excellent blog Unique!! (Gosh, hope I don’t sound like a sycophant! hehe!)
Aeromuslimah
August 4, 2007 at 1:46 pm
Shah, it IS amazing that it came to the most barbaric kind of people and turned them into great people. It shows us something doesn’t it? Maybe most of us have a seed of goodness in it, we just need a chance to be guided to the right way
Sumera, I was referring to a story where a lady travelled on her own, with her child, to madinah…and during the journey a man gave her a lift on his horse and didn’t harrass her or even talk with her.
Some men can be quite strict and claim that women are not allowed to go anywhere on their own, they must be accompanied by a mihrim, etc.
Cairogal, I couldn’t have said that better myself. It’s all too sad these days. All too sad.
Cairmuslimah, Thank you my dear sis, hugs!
Khadijah,
YoungMUslimah, I’m so happy you shared that info with us, it really is important to be physically attracted to your husband. If you can’t stand to look at his face then what sort of marriage is this going to be? Sadly a lot of people think you don’t have to be attracted to the man, as long as he is pious then that’s enough for the woman to get married- even if she can’t stand him. You rock sis!
AeroooooooooooooooMuslimaah welcome to my blog, love the nickname
Seriously you are a role model for us! Working in a male dominated job with elder people and giving dawah to them at the same time is excellent. May Allah bless your time to always use it by serving Him insha’Allah! You are very welcome to print this out but it’s not that good sis! Barak Allah Feeky my dear 
Unique Muslimah
August 4, 2007 at 3:42 pm
[...] Unique Muslimah states the obvious (obvious to existing Muslim women, anyway!): To whom it may concern; You may see me as oppressed by my religion. But with my hand on my heart, sincerely and honestly, this is just not true. Powered by Gregarious (21) [...]
I Am Not Oppressed at Ijtema
August 6, 2007 at 12:42 pm
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August 6, 2007 at 12:42 pm
Islam liberated women 1400 years ago and hijab is a choice that women make to wear, it is not oppression but rather hijab is freedom
hijab
August 30, 2007 at 6:36 pm
AL Salam Alekom my sister, i read everything you wrote masshallah you are a great sister
may God bless you
jeehan
June 1, 2008 at 12:05 am
Wow…some of the things you say are allowed by Islam is then not followed in many parts of the world!! (At least from what I still see through the media.)
Despite what the teachings of my own religion state, I think we all are allowed to our own beliefs. How we act is more important than what we believe.
And I agree with you on feminists: I do not need them to tell me what is “liberating”. Dude…modesty is far more liberating than sexual appeal.
Charlene Farber
June 17, 2008 at 11:00 pm