Don’t “Assalamu Alaykum Sister” Me!

Do I really look like an ATM machine? I always wonder to myself when these certain, specific situations come out of the blue. When out and about, the strangest men will approach me and ask for money, “Assalamu Alaykum” they will start, trying to come close, which is the point where I turn right around and walk off. Most of them insist to add, “I’m Muslim like you” they’ll call behind me, as if that will make me feel safer with them, which is quite the contrary. “Please I lost my wallet I need change, 20 dollars” they’ll ask, still trying to grab my attention, where at that point I have made it quite clear I’m not going to respond, by giving him the cold shoulder, which always works.

Honestly it really peeves me off, these men who think they can give me a lecture on how to be a good Muslim by giving them change. If they were such good Muslims they wouldn’t be talking to a Muslim woman on her own in the first place, they wouldn’t bug or harass her, they’d leave her well alone and respect her distance.

On the other hand, Muslim women do the same to Muslim men, though many Muslims are suspicious that these Bosnian women who come fresh off the boat are actually Muslim. They wear a scarf, hold a designer handbag and stand outside mosques with a baby in their arms pestering men and women for change. From afar I once saw one of these women badger a respectful Muslim man so indecently in the end he had to give her some change so he could get her off him.

It is just bizarre that we cover up to be modest, to make others aware that we are not to be approached in that kind of way, only to have them bend the rules in the most ridiculous of ways, and most of the time it is because they just want to initiate a conversation.

This brings me to a recollection where many Muslim young men will have to say “Salam Alaykum” to me while I’m out and about. What do they expect me to do? Smile, shake their hand and say “Wa Alaykum Assalam Okhty!”

Erm, no. I always put on a stern face, never even look in their direction and carry on doing whatever it is I was doing. I do however whisper “Wa alaykum al salam” once the man is out of earshot, just between me and Allah that I did answer the peace back, but thankful to Allah that the dude “peaced off”.

I do wish they would all peace off and just let me be, because last time I checked, even though I was wearing green today like the dollar, I’m just not made out of money. Last time I checked, I didn’t have a sign on my head that said “ATM” or “Naive”.

What bothers me is the Islamic principles that these men are forgetting, thinking they could put some honey in the poison, thinking they could act all Islamic and that would make me warm up to them and invite them to a cup of coffee somewhere. Get real! I must add that my ATM-RADAR is really working very well, I’ll always sense when someone will approach me for monetary reasons. No wonder having a mihrim around with you is mandatory in some situations. But sometimes the mihrim doesn’t want to be chained up like a dog, walking around with you while you do whatever it is you’re doing, so what can some sisters do but venture out on their own to get the necessary things done.